If your husband is addicted to drugs, start with your own safety and your children's, then protect the household money, and only then work on getting him to treatment. You cannot make him stop, but the way you respond can make it much more likely that he accepts help, and you are allowed to get support for yourself whatever he decides.
This guide is for wives and partners in Malaysia. Most of it also applies if the problem is alcohol, pills or gambling.
If you or the children are in danger
Call 999 if anyone is hurt, if he is unconscious, having a fit, or seeing and hearing things that are not there, or if you are afraid of what he will do next. Leave the house first if you need to.
Under Malaysian law, domestic violence is not only hitting. Threats that make you fear for your safety, and psychological abuse that causes emotional injury, also count. You can get protection quickly:
- Emergency Protection Order (EPO). Issued by the welfare department (JKM), usually within two hours of applying. It lasts seven days and you do not need to make a police report first.
- Interim Protection Order and Protection Order. Issued by the Magistrate's Court once there is a police report, and they last through the investigation and trial.
For help with any of this, call Talian Kasih 15999 (24 hours, or WhatsApp 019-261 5999), or Women's Aid Organisation on 03 3000 8858 (SMS or WhatsApp 018 988 8058).
How to tell how serious it is
Many wives notice the money first: cash missing, loans they did not know about, things sold from the house. Others notice mood swings, staying up for days and then sleeping for days, or friends you have never met. Our guide to the signs of drug use goes through them in detail.
You do not need proof before you get advice. A worried conversation with a counsellor or a treatment service is enough to start.
What actually helps him get to treatment
Shouting, crying, threatening to leave and then not leaving, or searching his phone every night rarely gets anyone into treatment. A method called CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) teaches the family to change the way they respond, and it has good evidence behind it. A 2020 review of 14 studies found CRAFT was twice as effective as other approaches at getting the person into treatment. Where family members had both one-to-one and group sessions, 77% to 86% of the people they were worried about started treatment.
In daily life that looks like this:
- Talk when he is sober, not when he is high, coming down or angry.
- Say what you see and how it affects you. "I was frightened when you didn't come home on Friday" lands better than "You're a drug addict".
- Make sober time good time. Eat together, go out, do the things he enjoys when he is clear.
- Let the consequences of using stay with him. Do not call his boss with excuses or pay off the debts he hid.
- Have one specific option ready. A phone number, a place, a time. When he says "maybe", you can act that day.
Our family guide on how to help someone with a drug addiction covers this in more depth, and how to talk to someone about getting help has the words to use.
Protecting money and the household
Addiction often drains a family's money before anyone admits there is a problem. Some practical steps:
- Keep money for rent, food and school fees in an account only you can use.
- Pay bills directly instead of handing over cash.
- Put your IC, the children's birth certificates, land titles and jewellery somewhere safe, outside the house if needed.
- Do not sign for loans or guarantee debts for him while he is using.
- If he owes money to loan sharks or dealers, get advice before paying. Paying once often leads to more demands.
The children
Children usually know more than adults think. Tell them simply, in words that fit their age, that their father is unwell and that it is not their fault. They did not cause it, and they cannot cure it or control it. Let them talk about how they feel without having to defend or criticise their father, and keep their routines as steady as you can.
If the children have seen violence or are frightened at home, Talian Kasih 15999 can also help.
Should I stay or leave?
That is your decision, and there is no right answer that fits every marriage. Some wives stay and the husband recovers. Some leave to keep themselves and their children safe, and some husbands only accept help after that. Neither choice makes you a bad wife.
If you are thinking about separation, custody or a Syariah claim such as fasakh or taklik, get legal advice before you act. The Legal Aid Department (Jabatan Bantuan Guaman) helps with both civil and Syariah family cases. Its help is subsidised, so depending on your income you may pay a contribution, which can still cost far less than a private lawyer.
Treatment options in Malaysia
AADK, the government route. Since the amended Drug Dependants Act (Act 283) took effect on 22 August 2025, a person can go straight to the National Anti-Drugs Agency (AADK) for voluntary treatment, without a doctor's letter or a court case. AADK describes this service as free and confidential, and the Home Minister said in October 2026 that people who come forward voluntarily will not have a criminal record. About 232 people a month now do this, up from 75 before the change. Call 1-800-22-AADK (2235) or WhatsApp 019-626 2233. Our guide to voluntary drug rehab in Malaysia explains each step.
Private residential care. A private drug rehabilitation centre can offer a quicker start, a private room and a set programme, for a fee. Ask any centre the questions in our guide on how to choose a rehabilitation centre.
A safety point. If he drinks heavily every day or takes sleeping pills (benzodiazepines), he should not stop suddenly on his own. Stopping either can be dangerous, including fits, so he needs a doctor's help to come off them.
Looking after yourself
Living with someone's addiction is exhausting, and many wives carry it alone because of shame. Talk to someone you trust, keep up your own friendships and work, and get support even if he refuses all help. You can call Talian HEAL 15555, the national mental health support line, daily from 8am to midnight.
Common questions
Can I report my husband to AADK?
You can contact AADK yourself for advice on how to persuade him, and on what the voluntary route involves. Voluntary treatment needs his consent. Compulsory treatment goes through a separate legal process, which is not something a wife decides.
Can I force my husband into rehab?
No. Adults have to agree to voluntary treatment, and Salus only accepts adults who agree to come. What you can do is make treatment the easiest option for him to say yes to.
Will he get a criminal record if he goes to AADK voluntarily?
The Home Minister has said those who come forward voluntarily will not have a criminal record.
What if he goes to rehab and then relapses?
Relapse can happen, and it does not mean the work so far was wasted. Read our guide on relapse after rehab for what to do next.
My husband is addicted to gambling, not drugs. Does this still apply?
Most of it does, especially protecting the money. See our guide on gambling addiction help in Malaysia.
How Salus can help
Salus is a voluntary, private 90-day residential programme for adults aged 18 and over in Cyberjaya, Selangor. A Salus Clinician works with each person alongside medical care, and families take part in the programme. Fees start from RM7,000 a month. Medication, deposits, medically supervised detox and any transfer to a psychiatric facility are charged separately.
You can contact us before your husband has agreed to anything. We will talk through his situation, the AADK route and whether Salus could fit, in confidence and with no obligation. Contact Salus.
This article is general information, not medical or legal advice.
